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[05 Jan 2010|01:19am] |
things:
manchester
deadmau5
manchester city!
italy
aberystwyth
glastonbury
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| wah wah wah |
[12 Jul 2008|11:27pm] |
im really hungry.
ive been working 2 jobs and trying to do my degree and somehow i just end up pissing everybody off, including myself because im so lazy.
i really regret this past year, its been awful. and im in so much trouble now and dont know what to do about getting myself out of it, and noone seems to care which is sort of good because i dont have to worry about cutting myself off but also not good because, well, noone cares.
mostly im just hungry though. i have literally no food in the cupboard and resorted to dry weetabix which wasnt the most tantilising meal ive ever had.
on the plus side, that old chestnut - i will lose weight. ive already lost a bit from working so much and being stressed and i look awful. my body is fucked up.
waah waah waah.
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[12 Feb 2008|03:29am] |
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mood |
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Right, well it's 3.30am and although I went to bed at about 11, I can't sleep. And I think I'm getting ill, coz my face REALLY aches, and sore throat, sore eyes, etc etc etc. I hope I can shake it off, coz this week is gonna be hectic.
First of all, I broke up with James. Or he broke up with me! I was absolutely gutted at first but a week or so later and I'm back on track, and not only am I over it but I'm actually really happy! I've been in a great mood the past couple of days and therefore I can only assume that he was right to end it. He's still a cock, though. =P We're all going out on Valentines day and I'm really looking forward to it, for a reason that only became apparent about 20 minutes ago but it's put a huuuge smile on my face. So while I'm out having fun, James will be at home probably having a wank in front of the computer. Hah. I managed to lose almost a stone in that week that I was missing him, I was my lowest weight since the first year of uni, but I've eaten more now and therefore have probably put most of it back on. Healthy, much?
Have been spending loads of time with my friends lately. We went for Sunday lunch and watched football, been out loads and definately frequented Bay FAR too much. I'm happy. But I'm really falling behind in my work, and this is part of why I don't wanna get ill.
I was meant to go to Manchester on Friday to see the Smashing Pumpkins, but I took (and immediately spent) the £40 instead, but I don't mind. Coz I got a party to go to, and there's someone I want to meet there.
Am REALLY excited, and am aware that I'm going to end up disappointed through all the anticipation. But a girl can dream =)
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[19 Jan 2008|03:42pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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First essay is handed in, unfortunately I don't hold out much hope for it, as I edited it at the last minute (literally) and keep thinking about how I forgot to define what terrorism is. Pah. Hopefully I will pass though.
I'm worried about my next essay. I wish it was out the way so I could just relax and spend some time having fun with my friends again. Saying that I snuck out last week and didn't intend to drink. But I eventually staggered home, pissed at 5am. Just 5000 words between me and freedom!!
I applied for a job yesterday, they said a few people had applied as well but I'm really holding out hope, it's really easy job, and it's over £600 which would be SO useful :-( Fingers crossed.
Am worried that my smashing pumpkins ticket is lost in the post! The gig is soon...I need to buy my train ticket to manchester.
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[10 Jan 2008|11:46pm] |
Haven't updated in sooooooooo long and now it's either that or read about terrorism so update it is!
I've put on a TON of weight and I'm all out of ephedrine. Also now I'm back at uni I'm going to be drinking in vast quantities, which means more weight gain. It doesn't help that I avoid my flatmates so much I can't spend long enough in the kitchen preparing any kind of decent food, though. I'm all out of ephedrine too, bugger. Luckily I was ill over christmas so didn't have much of an appetite, so at least I don't have that extra weight to shift. I'm very conscious of the fact that the ONLY place I seem to lose weight from is my boobs, though!
Next, work. My improvement with handing stuff in has come to an abrupt end. My essay was due in yesterday and I still have so much reading for it! I said I would give it in on Monday but to be honest even that is a struggle, it's really hard and I can't find any absolute definition of the word 'militarisation' which is pissing me off. I'm sick of al Qaeda, I'm sick of George Bush, and I'm SICK of talking about America! I wish January was over, all my work, then I could have a month of relaxing, enjoyable reading and no essays. I missed another seminar today, I'm the worst student ever.
I'm also very poor. My advice for anyone thinking of doing a Masters, is don't bother getting a loan from Barclays, since I applied in AUGUST and STILL don't have my monies! I'm almost half way through, part of me wonders if there's even any point! I'm sure I could negotiate an interest-free loan from my parents if necessary, hehe. :-S But still, I haven't paid any fees yet, I don't want my computer services cut off again!!
Hmmh mmm, I'm going to Manchester to see the Pumpkins soon, only problem is my work is trying to ruin all my plans for fun. I only work like, 3 weekends in the whole term, trust it to be that weekend when I'm away!
Anything else? My relationship? Oh we don't talk about that.
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[19 Nov 2007|11:49pm] |
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trying harrd not to sound like an emo, but i do feel quite alone.
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[09 Nov 2007|03:11pm] |
In the past 2 days we've had 2 jesus people knock on our door. The first lot say that God reckons hes gonna come down here soon and govern us all because we're doing such a rubbish job. The second says he wasn't trying to push god on anyone (despite intruding in peoples private lives to tell them about god) and also that his proof that god existed is when he prayed and felt something that 'couldnt've been anything other than the Holy Spirit' :D Man oh man. They both left leaflets.
In other news, I'm obsessed with Guitar Hero. I spent literally about 7 hours playing it yesterday instead of doing work. I love it. My fingers were too cold to play properly today though.
This week my tutor made me cry, my other tutor said I need to be more dynamic, and I wasn't happy in general although I guess I've cheered up a bit somewhat since then.
I wish Jamie was here, I just haven't had that much fun this year as I would have if he was here. Despite guitar hero! I blame the emergence of vicky seb and rhian into our group. They are boring.
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[16 Sep 2007|06:21pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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Here is what I can do then. Get a 2.1 and get accepted for a Masters. And here's what I can't: have any sort of self-control, and maintain a relationship.
The important thing now is my work, which has to come first and fun second - first time for everything I suppose. This time next week I should be in my next house in Aber! Looking forward to freshers week....free stuff! I really miss my friends, too.
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| Well |
[13 Sep 2007|12:02pm] |
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In the space of about a month I have ruined all the potentially good things in my life. I am rubbish. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now, probably work in some shitty job, get some money, and fuck off on holiday. Or just pay off my hefty debt. I don't know, who cares. Ruined things with James, haven't spoken to loads of my friends for ages and spent all my money on useless crap. I need to have a serious re-think about what I can and cannot do.
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[22 Aug 2007|12:05pm] |
For the past 2 days I've been REALLY exicted and I'm not sure why! It's good though. Been to see my new house in Aber, its reet good and the girls I'm living with are really cool. My favourite of these is Charlotte, I went to Reading festival with her last weekend and shes just ace. I overdid the poppers (lol) and got a raging headache, so it was almost game over by the time the smashing pumpkins came on! I was soooooooooooo excited to see them they were brill, even though it really was just Billy Corgan +backing band but meh, they played the ace songs so now I wanna go see em in Glasgae!
Had a job interview today but I don't want it anymore. Lucky really, since I highly doubt they would give me the job. I got to see my friend Ben too, which put me in a really good mood. We used to be really good friends a few years ago but sort of drifted apart so it was nice to catch up. I'm also gonna go visit my friend Pete in Newcastle soon and I'm looking forward to it - just don't know how to tell James as ex boy/girlfriends is a bit of an issue with us. We nearly broke up last week (Again) but didn't (Again), it's not quite back to normal yet but I'm sure it will be once we both lighten up. And by we I mean me! I just still get really depressed sometimes, but I realise now that I should just get my priorities right - it seems to be working.
I also made a cool new friend at work, she's coming to visit Aber soon which will also be fun and happy!
That is all!!!!
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[12 Aug 2007|10:26pm] |
oh shit fuck cunt
i might be in the middle of breaking up with my boyfriend. i need my friends so badly! :(
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[09 Aug 2007|09:08pm] |
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Wow I feel really, really, alone.
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[08 Aug 2007|02:12pm] |
Finally decided when to go up and see James. It's a week today, and I'm very excited as I miss him lots :D
I also seem to have a casual job back in Aber over term, but it's not finalised yet.
Aaaaand I was thinking about selling my Leeds ticket, even though I bloody LOVE Smashing Pumpkins. We'll see!
Oh well, back to work. Boooooo
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| Man |
[03 Aug 2007|11:31pm] |
I hate my job! I mean, I know I shouldn't complain. I wanted a job, I have one. But still! I suppose it ain't so bad - flexible, money average, vaguely nice people, studenty job. I wish I was rich.
Hopefully meeting up with Tom and Pete next week, even more hopefully I'll have my ephedrine, not that I've been eating overly much lately, I just can't be bothered to do anything!
I found out when my exams are - one of them was RIGHT in the middle of Reading festival! So I umm..rang them up and they changed the date, what a result! I did briefly consider selling my ticket - they're going for £200 a pop on ebay, I could do with that money. What would I prefer, festival fun or 200 squid?! Hmm.
Yeah sooooo. I'm doing work. It's a friday night. And I'm doing work. I suck so hard sometimes!!
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[02 Aug 2007|05:34pm] |
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I got bitten by a fucking dog!!! My hand is all purpley bruises and cuts :-(
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| :) |
[30 Jul 2007|01:25pm] |
i got me a job! finally i can start with the paying off of my hugggeee over-draftness!
and i secretly managed to lose a few lbs, annnnnnnnnnd me and james really are fine now! :D things are improving fo'sure!
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[26 Jul 2007|10:50am] |
Can't really be bothered to update. Meh! Well alright then
I managed to go backpacking, walking for miles every day and doing sports even..and still be a fucking porker!
Luckily in a few weeks I will be supplied with Ephedrine and that should clear that up.
I'm not that bothered about being thin though, I only want to lose a stone.
I managed to run my 5k race without training at all. And in a really good time. I was proud of myself :)
Because of this, I am going to enter into my first 10k race. Woo. It's good because as hard as it is, I am no longer nervous :)
I need a job. Give me a job.
I have a job interview later today, I seriously need to get it.
Me and James are.................fine.
That's all!
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[27 May 2007|04:32am] |
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You know I take back what I said, I'm a poor judge of character anyway. I am not in the wrong here, and I have the most amazing friends ever. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't even want to come back here next year. But I do, and I am. No where else I'd rather be.
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[26 May 2007|03:24pm] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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I am starting to think that I am not a very nice person. I'm sorry.
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[24 May 2007|02:51pm] |
Good news - ephedrine
Bad news - bloody Jews! so boring to write about.
Good news - lost a couple of lbs
Bad news - I dont think James is pleased with me. God, I suck at relationships..
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